De-Rutted

Ok, so it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything at all and until about two weeks ago, I’ve scrapbooked twice since February.

Now I can dress it up anyway I want but the truth is, I didn’t want to. Or at least, I had no inclination to. Can you smell rut. What’s more scary, I was not happy. I was not unhappy or sad, just not happy. I went about my day doing what I had to and when it came to doing the things I really enjoy, I went to bed, or the TV or, my personal favourite, facebook games.

I did give the matter some thought but without actually analysing the root. It wasn’t until I did this LO that it hit me. I am a good mom, wife, teacher, friend, counsellor and daughter, but I was not really that good at being Chantal. Which is really sad, since given my way, I would be brilliant at it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being all those things. I love cheering for Nikita at swimming galas or netball matches. I love when I’m the first person Stephen calls when he lands a big client. It is with a certain sense of honour that I listen to my students as they spill their hearts out to me.

The reality is that I was so wrapped up in everything else going on in my life that all I knew to write about was what was going on with everyone else. Once again, can you smell rut. So I did what every self-respecting woman would do in this situation. I got a haircut and bought new shoes. I also have a tendency when I want a fresh start to invest way too much money in bath and body products. My Avon sales rep just loves me at the moment.

So sporting a new-do, and feeling all fresh and pretty, I gave the matter some more thought. If doing all those things is not rewarding enough, then what is it that I want to do? All I came up with was what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to be a full time SAHM. I don’t want all my scrapbook pages to be about Nikita. I don’t ever want to see another soap opera. I don’t want to spend the best part of my day with housework and watching re-runs. I don’t want to be so involved in online games that I wake up at 2am to harvest virtual lollipops.

When you read it like that, the answer is simple, isn’t it. I need to go back to work. The only problem is I’m very picky about the hours I am willing to work. I still want to be home when Nikita gets home from school. I want a job that will allow me to work like a horse when I have the time but will also allow me the freedom to follow other pursuits.

I also want to write. I want to finish my novel. I want to blog regularly. I want to journal again. And I want to scrapbook. I want to document my life and I want document my loved ones lives from my perspective, not theirs. I am aware that life is unpredictable and I want to document as much maternal advice as I can so Nikita can benefit from it whether I am there or not.

So yes, I want a job, I want to be home with my daughter, I want time to write my novel, I want to blog, I want time to do the things I enjoy. In other words I want it all. A feat, I would have thought impossible except…

While I was going through the whole soul searching phase, so was my husband and more importantly so was his boss. Stephen was ready to run his own business, he just didn’t have the resources to start one. His boss on the other hand was growing bored of Stephen’s division of the company and wanted to concentrate his energies on his other ventures. To make a long story short, Stephen and a collegue bought that division taking along the current and existing client base, essential equipment but no other resources. They had a business, they had clients, they could do the work but had no administrative help. Step forward the bored housewife who’s been doing admin her entire adult life.

Yes, I am once again gainfully employed as an administrator. It will be a part time position in the sense that as long as the work gets done, I can pretty much do as I please. (Literally, if you consider that the office has uncapped DSL.) The offices are at my inlaw’s home meaning Nikita could come there after school if I have work to do later in the day.

I suppose it all worked out the way it was supposed to. I’m working part time, I’ve scrapbooked 5 pages this month already, I started writing my novel again and look I’ve even blogged.

Of course with all this reflection and self- analysis, one thing is clear, Mid-life Crisis: Stage One – Completed.

Chantal

PS: Here’s the cover page of my new BOM album/Owning Pink Journal

Shortweeks and Bra Shopping

I think April might well be my least favourite month of the year. The signals become very clear that winter is approaching. It gets darker earlier, the leaves are browner, the last showers signalling the end of warmer weather and public holidays.

As a wahm, public holidays mean very little. Deadlines still need to be met and housework still needs to be done. The only difference being that I also need to fit in some quality family time. So I did the family thing today. Breakfast with both sets of families and shopping afterwards. Then both Stephen and I had deadlines to meet so we spent the rest of the day on the computer. What’s left? The house. Now I need to fit into four days what I would normally fit into five, and Nikita is on school holiday. So for this week I only have 2 things on my To Do List: Spend some time with Nikita and meet my deadline.

Nikita has all sorts of things planned for us this week. We will apparently do some paper scrapping and wardrobe purging. Also we need to go shopping for bras, as in both of us need to.

Nikita paper-scraps on occasion and hasn’t expressed any interest in digi scrapping. I think the mess of it all comforts her. That would certainly explain my constant battle to keep her wardrobe tidy. But for this week, and this week only I will lay off a bit.

Then there’s the wardrobe purging. Code for: “Mom I’d like some new clothes please.” In all fairness to her, she has grown some over the summer and does need new clothes and school uniform. Of course, our idea of what is needed is very different. I wouldn’t exactly call her a fashion princess but she has a definite idea of what she considers stylish and apparently I don’t.

According to my beloved drama queen, I just don’t get it. I was told this as recently as Thursday when she spent half her holiday money on a pair black knee high socks with skulls all over them. I, of course asked the obvious question: Does it come with temperature control. This is, of course, the wrong reaction. What I am supposed to do is say “ooh that is so cute”, and rush out and get myself a pair these socks and mini skirt to show them. (Remember when wearing mini skirts were about showing off your legs.) I did the first part because… well… she did look cute.

So once we’ve cleared out the wardrobe I am imagining we will be trawling the department stores for similar items. Like I said, she certainly has her own style.

Whilst we are out shopping, WE need to get some bras. I need to get some in a smaller size (sniff) and she needs to get some that are not of the crop top variety (big sniff.) Now, she’s only 10 (no, I stand corrected, 10 years and 10 months) so the issue is not support really but rather modesty. She wears a white shirt and pants to school in winter and she’s feeling the need to cover up a bit. She also thinks she needs to get a sports bra. I stifled a giggle. Nikita despises anything that is remotely constricting and moans constantly about clothes that make her feel smothered. Can you imagine the amount of moaning we will have to endure if she has to wear a sports bra for 6-8 hours a day. That novelty will wear off very soon.

As for me, well I’ve lost about 7kgs in the last 2 years and my back size has gone even smaller. I don’t think they make bras in my back size with my cup size. This, of course, will all be irrelevant if my cup size has reduced aswell. I suppose I could have myself refitted, and show Nikita how its done while I’m at it.

In all, not a very busy or productive week ahead but certainly an interesting one. Here’s to paper and glue, sports bras and deadline.

Happy Monday.

C

PS I plan on changing my blog banner and look as soon as I’ve downloaded and unzipped all my goodies from the GGG sale at Sweet Shoppe Designs.

Changing the mindset of the At Home Woman.

Have you noticed how we label women who stay at home. She is either a housewife or a SAHM (stay at home mom). Now I’ll admit that staying at home is a decision usually based on being a wife. I mean, single and divorced moms don’t really have this option, do they? And many times having a kid contributes to this decision. I only know one wife who stays at home who does not have kids.

But I digress. The point is that women who choose to stay at home are seen as a wife and/or mother. Not primarily but entirely. It is expected that all we do is cook, clean, help with homework, tend to the pets, liaise with caregivers, make sure everyone else’s day is off to a good start and in my house make sure there are towels in the bathroom before I go to bed. (the towel debate is a topic for another post)

The thing is when you look at what all the at home woman does, you get the sense that there isn’t much time for anything else. And for the most part you would be right. The problem comes in the mindset that says: all we do is all we are.

Before I was a mother and a wife I was a daughter, a sister, a friend and above all else a woman. Granted not a very wise woman, but certainly, I think headed that way.

The at home woman is often looked down upon for not having any ambition. Or even worse and almost entirely untrue, for being a gold digger who would rather sit at home in the lap of luxury while their respective gadget-geek goes off to earn his millions by helicopter. In other words a trophy wife. I am sure that there are few examples of these but they are certainly in the minority. Thankfully, this mindset is beginning to change. When I say change, I mean that women in the workforce are changing their attitude.

It’s us, the at home women, whose mindset need to change slightly. Firstly it is a privilege that we have this option, not our duty. We make that choice and we need to understand that it IS a privilege to make that choice. Not just to us but to those who live under the same roof as us. No one can make us stay at home and no one should rely on the fact that “mom will pick it up”.

Secondly, to each his own. Or her own, as the case may be. The at home woman tends to give off an air of superiority over those woman who choose not too. A “I have my priorities straight” kind of attitude. Our mindset needs to change. Some women need to stay in business and here are my top 5 reasons why:

1 - Not all of us are built to cook, clean, decorate and explain long division. I cannot imagine spending my day doing something I find resentful, all day every day. In the end the most important thing for a child is a happy, healthy and present parent. By present I don’t mean at home but someone who knows her, really knows her.

2 - We can’t say the world was running smoothly when all the women were at home. Clearly we need some of that softer touch in the greater world. Whether we like it or not women have children and as soon as they feel comfortable to do so, we want them back in the workforce.

3 - We need good role models for girl children. Those who can show that we can have it all and raise happy kids. Personally, I can’t. I cannot give a job the kind of attention I feel it deserves and be a present mother. Or at least I was tired of feeling guilty when I felt I wasn’t present enough.

4 - Oh dear, all the teachers would be male. I know there are some great foundation phase male teachers out there, but not enough to keep up with the birth rate.

5 - Do you want to enjoy grandchildren. Seriously. If you told a woman that once she has children she would have to stop working, what would happen? With all the technology available, the amount of children needing adoptive homes and women already waiting later to have kids, this is a serious concern. It is very likely that your daughter will then choose to only have kids once she has reached the pinnacle of her career. Imagine trying to keep up with a 10 year old at 75 - this would be one of the better case scenarios. The worst case scenario is that once she reaches the pinnacle of her career, she chooses not to upset her comfort zone. Lets bear in mind, as those who are in the workforce can testify to, that reaching the pinnacle of your career coincides nicely with the empty nest. And once we grow accustomed to the empty nest we get into a comfort zone. A zone which would greatly be upset if we had to go back to dark cheap furniture to accommodate chocolate fingers.

So there you have it. I’ve been pondering the direction I want this blog to take and this is it. A woman’s view of the world around her. A woman who does have the time to surf the world around her, a woman who by choice is mother and a wife as well, but 100% woman.

I know today’s post was a bit serious but I promise to be back with something a little lighter: The Drama Queen’s Valentine’s woes.

What I wish was in my hand luggage.

What I wish was in my hand luggage.

Or Carry- On luggage…

The idea of travelling in style always appeals to me. I always try and arrive at my destination looking like I have some semblance of style. I may not pull it off but I must say my hand luggage would make even a boy scout look unprepared (well, I’m a girl guide).

The thing is, if you look inside that bag, you’ll find a hodgepodge of everything. My husband bought take aways a few weeks go and the café did not have any cutlery (This would be a topic for another post). I then promptly took a fork out of my handbag. He thought that this was the height of it. He then proceeded to tell everyone who would listen about what all I have in my handbag.

So I thought I would unpack it today. (No pics unfortunately, I still need to install the camera on the new baby.) So here’s what’s in there.

1 x wallet.
1 x those wet wipe thingies that they give you when you eat steak at restaurants
1 x ID book
1 x Christmas Ball
2 x those after dinner sweets they give you at restaurants
1 x Rimmel Cream blush
1 x eye shadow compact
12 x mini hair clips (I don’t know why I need 12)
1 x 20c coin
2 x Lipstick
1 x business cards
4 x anti -histamines
1 x tub of painkillers
2 x plasters
1 x tennis ball
1 x toothbrush
1 x cake of soap
1 x tweezers
1 x string of tinsel (it's not a long piece)
3 x pens
1 x Hair tie
1 x toy car
1 x deodorant.
1 x bracelet

Ok, if you look it like this, it does seem ridiculous. Especially when you consider that my regular handbag is not that big.

Here’s what would like in the inside of my handbag. It doesn’t all need to be pink, I’m just in a pink sort of mood today. I did this at Polyvore, a lovely site to play around on.



I love that handbag. Actually I have a thing for handbags, but this one just seemed like the thing… and its big enough to hold my laptop.

My iPod, I still need to get used to those things in my ears. I really want a Kindle, which will be my next electronic purchase. The iPhone - I am hoping that its an option on my next upgrade, which will be January 2011. I really love all the skins available for it. The Mac I will wait for.

Then there’s make-up. Lipstick, shadows, blush, pencils, tweezers and brushes. Oh and I want an eyelash curler. The reason I don’t have one yet is because I’m sure I will get bored of it after two uses. I am not a fan of celebrity fragrance but I loved how Lovely smelt on my skin so that will definitely go onto my wish list.

I will probably add the plasters, painkillers and anti-histamines. Oh and some sweets and a hair tie.


Gosh this is a long post… Thanks for reading.
Chantal

Lets talk Military Movies.

I thought I would do some movies this week.

Here's my top 10 military movies.

10 -Master and Commander
9 -Platoon.
8 - Men of Honor - Very few actors pull off the enlisted officer like Cuba; and then there's Robert De Niro and Charlize Theron
7 - Rules of Engagement
6 - Basic - Love that twist at the end
5 - Pearl Harbour
4 - Saving Private Ryan
3 - Top Gun
2 - A Few Good Men
1 - U-571

H/M's
GI Jane

Ok, so some of them are not brilliant. Infact, now, watching Platoon has only one redeeming feature - Charlie Sheen.

I love Military Movies, and I doubt it has any thing to do with the men in them. But look at this list.

Appearing on my list:
Russel Crowe - 1 - but then Gladiator doesn't classify as Military Movie to me.
Paul Bettany - 1
Charlie Sheen - 1
Robert De Niro - 1
Cubu Gooding Jnr - 3
Tommy Lee Jones - 1
Samuel Jackson - 2
John Travolta - 1 - although he is never in uniform in Basic
Ben Affleck - 1
Josh Hartnett - 1
Tom Cruise - 2
Jack Nicolson - 1
Matt Damon - 1
Tom Hanks - 1
Matthew McConnehey - 1.

That it from me for today. I have a another chapter rattling in my head so I want to write that tonight and upload my peice for MDL.

Chantal

I have a new baby.

Ok, so I didn't blog for the rest of last week. I have a good reason. My new baby!!! An HP Pavilion dv6.

This baby comes with lots of abbreviations and numbers and, granted, some pretty useless features. I mean really, what exactly am I supposed to with the remote control. However, it has everything I speced and at a reasonable price: 3 gigs of RAM; 320 gigs HDD, Windows 7, and a 15.6" LED wide screen. My old screen was larger but it was old. I don't have Office on here but I am not to troubled. It came with MS Works with has a pretty decent word processor. At least for me, all I do is write my blogs and some other stuff. Windows Live Mail works fine for me and I would rather wait for Office2010 than buy 2007 now. Thanks so much to my delightful husband for the belated Christmas present!!! As well as making sure I was up and running so soon

Of course, Nikita is over the moon as well. Guess where the old one went... Straight into her bedroom. She can't stop looking at it and gushing. She has also managed to decorate the it wih all sorts of stickers.

In other news, I still haven't sorted out that basket of photo's. I know, I'm terrible. I did however manage to send two years worth of magazine off to the recycle bin with all the ideas I wanted to keep stuck nicely into a book. I managed to write a paragraph of my short story/novel or whatever. I am not sure how it will turnout. I haven't finished my peice for MDL yet but that will be uploaded tomorrow and I will probably have one about this baby next week. And I have a Dri-Buddy so the washing's getting dry.

All in all a very productive week and I am feeling really positive. I am not planning on getting to that basket of pics this week since its not going to get done anytime soon.

I will be posing a top 10 tomorrow though, so see you then.

Chantal

So, I was lurking on the SSD board over the weekend and found this thread. This got me thinking about how after 34 years of my tastes evolving would I be able to narrow it all down to just 10. In truth, probably not.

So, I plan and documenting all my top 10’s here every Tuesday.

I thought I would start with something where I know my stuff. This was going to be Top 10 movies themes and evolved into top 10 movie ballads which evolved into top 10 movie ballads – Love theme.

So here they are: Top 10 Movie (Not Animated) Ballads - Love Theme

10 – Glory of Love – Peter Cetera, The Karate Kid II
9 – Up where we belong – Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes, An Officer and a Gentleman.
8 – There you’ll be – Faith Hill, Pearl Harbour.
7 – Because you loved me – Celine Dion, Up Close and Personal.
6 – Separate Lives – Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin, from the movie White Nights.
5 – Out of Reach – Gabrielle, Bridget Jones Diary.
4 – I don’t wanna miss a thing – by Aerosmith, Armageddon.
3 – Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers, Ghost.
2 – Everything I do, I do it for you – Brian Adams,Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
1 – I will always love you – Whitney Houston, The Bodyguard.

Yes, I know, my top two are from movies with Kevin Costner in it.

Some H/M’s
I had the time of my life – Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes, Dirty Dancing
My Heart will go on – Celine Dion, Titanic
Kiss me – Six pence none the richer, She’s All That
All the love in the world –The Corrs, America’s Sweethearts.

Please feel free to comment if you think there are any I should have included.

C